What’s REALLY at stake in the health care debate

Whether I get laid.

According to a recent study, a woman’s preference among male features is influenced by the mortality rates, life expectancy and impact of communicable disease on those around her. The worse the health statistics for her area, the better she likes masculine features. The better the health statistics, the less value she places on masculinity.

Why? Who knows, but people offer theories. Masculinity, manifesting a higher amount of testosterone, has trade-offs. A deep voice, stronger jaw line and bushier eyebrow are man's way of advertising good genes, dominance and likelihood to father healthier kids. Those attributes are also associated with infidelity, domestic violence and divorce. Women in different circumstances make different trade-offs. Women in less healthy environments find the benefits of greater masculinity relatively attractive and the detriments relatively unimportant. Women in more healthy environments tend to reach the opposite conclusion.

Fascinating, but so what? Each to her own. Celebrate whatever land you love, and whatever loves you land, right?

Fine. But the extent to which we live in a healthy environment or a sick one tends to be a social, not an individual, choice. In short, your votes determine whether or not I get laid. Please think about that the next time you’re in the ballot box; I know I do.

(Ok, don’t go OVERBOARD here; other people need to use that booth, too.)

For what it’s worth, Argentina seems to be pretty good environment for manly men. Lots of Old Spice there? On the other hand, meterosexuals might find optimal hunting in Belgium. And by passing the health care reform act, the US just took a big step away from Argentina and toward Belgium. So if future generations of Americans start to look curiously like Hercule Poirot and Tintin, you’ll know why.

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