More Conservative Nostalgia

Since Constant seems unwilling to admit that generic conservative nostalgia for an imaginary past is a real phenomenon, I must turn to the most trusted source in news to settle this dispute once and for all: The Onion.

Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be

ESCONDIDO, CA—Spurred by an administration he believes to be guilty of numerous transgressions, self-described American patriot Kyle Mortensen, 47, is a vehement defender of ideas he seems to think are enshrined in the U.S. Constitution and principles that brave men have fought and died for solely in his head.

"Our very way of life is under siege," said Mortensen, whose understanding of the Constitution derives not from a close reading of the document but from talk-show pundits, books by television personalities, and the limitless expanse of his own colorful imagination. "It's time for true Americans to stand up and protect the values that make us who we are."

According to Mortensen—an otherwise mild-mannered husband, father, and small-business owner—the most serious threat to his fanciful version of the 222-year-old Constitution is the attempt by far-left "traitors" to strip it of its religious foundation.


Mortensen said his admiration for the loose assemblage of vague half-notions he calls the Constitution has only grown over time. He believes that each detail he has pulled from thin air—from prohibitions on sodomy and flag-burning, to mandatory crackdowns on immigrants, to the right of citizens not to have their hard-earned income confiscated in the form of taxes—has contributed to making it the best framework for governance "since the Ten Commandments."

"And let's not forget that when the Constitution was ratified it brought freedom to every single American," Mortensen said.

And if you think only fake news sources are reporting this phenomenon, think again. Check out the artist Jon McNaughton glorious portrait of Jesus and the Constitution, titled, appropriately, "One Nation Under God."

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...generic conservative

...generic conservative nostalgia for an imaginary past is a real phenomenon[.]

Real and frightening. Recently Laura Ingraham interviewed Bush's Torture Czar, John Yoo. They sat around and slapped each other on the back while claiming that torture is constitutional, thanks to the September 14 Enabling Act. It allows them to do anything to anyone, anytime. Constitutionally. It seems Obama decided he needed to get the back of the war criminals. Statists of the world unite.

The constitution is a joke. It was a the result of a successful counter-revolution led by the Federalists. I argue with conservatives all the time about the constitution and how it is essentially a fraud perpetrated on we the people by folks who wished to enthrone the merchant class at the helm of society. The document bestows upon the federal government power to steal what resources it needs to enforce the most grandiose statist desires of the central authority with threat, duress or coercion. This was done with the explicit purpose to grant privilege to the crypto-monarchists who desired security in their monopolies of trade.

Most conservatives I have encountered wrongly believe that the revolution fought and died for the constitution. Oh how they loathe to hear about the articles of confederation, something that was never mentioned in any public school textbook that I have had the ill-luck to peruse.

Conservative nostalgia for the good-ole days. When the government only openly horse****ed colored folks. I do not think this is a sign of racism on the part of conservatives, on the contrary I feel this is from a lack of experiencing racism in their lives.

I never doubted or denied

I never doubted or denied that most people who talk about politics with a high degree of certainty don't really know very much about it, and I never doubted or denied that people love symbolism. I acknowledge these universal truths about humanity.

Then we are in agreement.

Then we are in agreement.

What a Buffoon!

"Jefferson was basically an atheist..."

And the commentator who wrote this is basically a guy who just makes things up.

Jesus? Judging by the emblem

Jesus? Judging by the emblem on that bearded fellow's tunic, my first guess would be Aragorn.