The True Meaning of Cricpmist

This is how I want to raise my kids:

My son Sam (6) has a gesture that's difficult to describe. It's a head-shake, a guffaw and an eye-roll that indicate "okay Dad, whatever you say." He uses it when I've spoken something that sounds completely outlandish to him, but he can't figure out why I've told him such a fish story. For the sake of moving forward, I'm going to call this gesture The Sheesh. [...]

SAM: So, seriously, what does God look like?

DAD: What does God look like? Well dude, I've heard a lot of different ideas about what God looks like, and I honestly haven't heard any better ideas than "God looks like Mace Windu."

SAM: Yeah, but really, what does he really look like.

DAD: Well dude, nobody knows what God looks like. The important thing you have to know is that no matter what anybody says, nobody anywhere has any idea what God looks like. If someone says they know, they're lying to you. Now then, since the idea is that God created the entire universe, one could say that God looks like everything, and maybe looks like nothing.

SAM: But what does that mean "God looks like everything?" You mean God looks like a plug, and a pen, and a radiator?

DAD: That's exactly what it means,dude, it means that God looks like a plug and a pen and a radiator. But don't forget, you're leaving out a lot of stuff, like trees and the sky and the ocean and fish and stuff. In fact, there's a story in the Bible where God shows himself to a guy, and you know what he looks like?

SAM: What.

DAD: A bush.

SAM: (laughing out loud) "A bush!"

DAD: It's true!

SAM: So, like, I could tell a story about God talking to me and God could look like a lamp.

DAD: You could absolutely tell a story about God talking to you and God could look like a lamp.

SAM: (does The Sheesh.)

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