One time I yoinked this monkey from the zoo and took it to my girlfriend's parents' house, but they didn't like it that much

In totally awesome news, a man took a monkey with him on a flight from Lima, Peru, to Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. (Not so awesome is how the jerks at LaGuardia stole it from him.) Something's not right about this case though, and I smell a cover-up:

According to Ontario Now:

The man put the monkey under his hat to get through customs and no one
asked him to remove teh [sic] hat. The monkey was spotted when it because
[sic] restless and the man had to hold it in his arms.

But according to Forbes (and everyone else running the AP version):

A man smuggled a monkey onto an airplane Tuesday, stashing the furry
fist-size primate under his hat until passengers spotted it perched on
his ponytail, an airline official said.

They're calling you a "smuggler," but sir, I think you're cool.

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