Sunday Lightness: Anarchists Anonymous

Tired of being an anarchist? Want to learn how to interfere with other people's lives? I've cribbed a guide from AA to help you recover from following the non-coercion principle, and get with the brave new Nanny State world. Their classic program begins with "1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol--that our lives had become unmanageable.", but ours is a little different...

Anarchists Anonymous: A 12 Step Program

1. We admitted we were powerless over our neighbors -- that their lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore them to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn their will and their lives over to the care of Government as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of our fellow citizens.

5. Complained to Government, moralized to ourselves and whined to another human being about the exact nature of their wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have Government remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to legislate away their shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons others had harmed through apathy, and forced them to make amends to their victims.

9. Made costly and indirect transfers to such victims wherever possible, even when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take communal inventory and when our neighbors were wrong promptly called for a law to deal with it.

11. Sought through lobbying and regulation to improve our conscious contact with Government, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His laws for us and his power to enforce them.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to individualists, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

(Note: this post is not meant to make light of the genuine problem of alcoholism, only the phantom problem of individual responsibility.)

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Dam good 12 steps. This will

Dam good 12 steps. This will surely fit on my neighbours.

12 Step Program The folks

12 Step Program
The folks over at Catallarchy have posted an excellent 12 step program to help if you can’t help but mind your own business.
Anarchists Anonymous: A 12 Step Program
1. We admitted we were powerless over our neighbors – that their lives had b...

I think I'm going to print

I think I'm going to print these on parchment. Maybe a serenity prayer to go along with the twelve steps. "God grant government the serenity to force others to do what I think is best..."

LOL. Excellent, Patri. And

LOL. Excellent, Patri.

And don't be shy about mocking AA. Ever since seeing the episode of Penn & Teller's Bullshit! about them, I've realized what a cultlike organization it is. The only proven way to get people to break addictions and the like is to force them to think through the consequences of their actions. The rest is hokum.

Great post! Definitely

Great post! Definitely printable and fridge-worthy. I've linked to it.

Prescription for an Orderly

Prescription for an Orderly World
Ever felt like the people around you were impossible to look after? Ever become frustrated by the resistence you encounter when trying to do “the right thing”? Feel like the world is simply too chaotic to last? We have just the thing for yo...